When Blessing Others Becomes Hard

I’ll be honest – I wasn’t planning to be single. But there I was, single, with four years of college behind me, and totally clueless as to what the future held.The last thing on my mind was being a blessing to others, until a wise teacher encouraged me, “Pour yourself into others. It will help take your mind off yourself.”

That piece of advice helped me in ways I didn’t realize at the time. While it is still not easy to put the needs of others before your own – especially during a time of extreme pain and trial – the rewards of blessing others are endless. And my teacher was right. Blessing others helps you forget about yourself!

It is a Biblical principle that single ladies have more time and energy to devout to ministry work. I totally understand that. If I want to volunteer for a special activity at church, I don’t have to plan for babysitters or what I’ll feed my family that day or if we’ll skip school. I can just go and do. It is a great feeling! I’m happy to give of myself to benefit the work of the Lord.

But it is the not-so-obvious times…the times maybe no one notices…when blessing others becomes hard. Do you want to know the group of people I find are the hardest to be a blessing to?

Married women.

If you are a married woman, this may come as a shock. But if you are single, it probably doesn’t.

Being single, I don’t know the most urgent needs of that first-time mom. I don’t know how that homeschooling mom is struggling. I don’t know what its like to feel “empty-nested.” I may perceive your needs as a woman, but can’t relate to you as a wife and mom.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to help.

There are some obvious things I can do that may be a help to you:

Clean your house
But here are some different ways, some thinking-outside-the-box ways that a single gal might be able to be a blessing to someone:

Take a new mom’s turn in the nursery – chances are you’ve seen that room enough lately!

Take a mom or grandma shopping – either they could use help with their kids while out, need someone to drive them, or maybe you could do the shopping for them entirely!

Accompany her on a walk or exercise routine on a regular basis

Set up an early-morning, before-the-kids-are-up bible study or prayer time. Even over the phone!

Plan a movie night

Bring her chocolate and coffee (okay, maybe that should have gone in the obvious category!)

Pick up her kids from school

Offer to shuttle her older kids to their jobs/sports once a week

Pick up her paper/mail and deliver it to her door

Accompany her on doctor’s visits

Take her car to the carwash

Do one-time projects around her home – painting, weeding gardens, stacking wood, spreading mulch, etc.
These things take work. They take some planning ahead and some ingenuity to get everything accomplished. But the results will be worth it! And my biggest piece of advice – just do it! So many times I have a “brilliant idea” that I end up talking myself out of because I’m afraid it will not be well received. I need to learn to not care, the worst that could happen is that she could say no, right?

So take the plunge and plan ahead to be a blessing to another woman this week. Just one. Then next week, do one more thing for someone. Pretty soon it will be a habit! And remember, pouring your life into others means less time focusing on self.

Make Me a Blessing

I’d love to hear from you, the reader. Are you single? What areas do you struggle with being a blessing to other women? Are you married? What areas could we single gals help you with? Don’t be afraid to speak out – we really, truly want to know!


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Nicole is a 20-something gal whose ultimate goal in life is to become more like her Saviour. She likes to read, sew, and wishes coffee came in an IV. She blogs at A Living Sacrifice where you can find sewing tutorials, organizing projects and fun family activities. She sells her handmade wares at So Sew Organized, an etsy shop full of quilted accessories for women and organizational helps.




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About Amanda Cunningham

Amanda worked as a full-time school teacher for two years before getting married and having three wonderful kids. She blogs about faith, family, food, and fun. While crafting takes up a lot of her extra time, Amanda also strives to help others through ministry in her church and in the community. Amanda, also known as Mae, works as the church music director and homeschools two of her three children

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